So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
