I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I think your dad took our porno
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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