My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
