R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
