u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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