Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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