Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry swede74 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(417): View more from Missouri

Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.

Fav 8 1219 2495
share tweet
(727): View more from Florida

she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?

Fav 39 7233 897
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(903): View more from Texas

I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.

Fav 43 1666 5542
share tweet
(315): View more from New York

They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.

Fav 12 8710 1508
share tweet
(626): View more from California

We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.

Fav 14 3627 1610
share tweet
(803): View more from South Carolina

at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear

Fav 5 1619 935
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(480): View more from Arizona

Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang

Fav 12 4423 1054
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(330): View more from Ohio

Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.

Fav 0 958 464
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(404): View more from Georgia

Just got my second shot

(1-404): View more from Georgia

Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days

Fav 0 85 22
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT