Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
