he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
