Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
