Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
