I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
