I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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