i just wanna soil my oats bro
I bet he comes in French.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
