Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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