Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
