i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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