Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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