The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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