My sheets look like a crime scene.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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