DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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