be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
