I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
