porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
