That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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