I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
