i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
