There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
