clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
