my mouth tastes like poor choices
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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