the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
