just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
