I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
