yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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