Well douche your snatch and let's go!
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
