last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
