if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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