he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
