tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
