What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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