OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
