When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
