Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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