I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
