there was a trapeze. enough said
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
