after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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