it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
love makes seman taste better
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
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