we made out on top of his cat.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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