Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
