So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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