Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
